And in english,
because I really are falling behind in school and need to practice as much as possible. The damn books was sent yesterday, so I could pick them up today. All but one that'll say, that was sent today - now how stupid is that? I finally seem to have gotten an answer from CSN about my money, which is suppoused to be on my account on Monday. This will hopefully be in time before all the bills are suppoused to be paid. Gosh, wish me luck!
Otherwise I'm really starting to feel like I've hit a brick wall. Since I was ill, I fell behind in school and need to acctually write something down from every missed lesson. So 4 extra texts, which I could probably write down from the books I was suppoused to have read.... But worst is the text I'm suppoused to translate into phonetic signs. I still haven't understood which sign is to which sound, and vs, so it takes really long time to finish even one scentence.. and it requires total focus. I also should start on the essay I never finished last year, since I got a date to turn it in in about 2 weeks, but I really have lost all energy. It fells like nothing acctually make me happy anymore.
I know this isn't suppoused to be written down in a public website, but since I feel that noone really acctually reads it - and because I have noone else to talk too - I don't think it matters anymore.
I feel like I don't know myself, and never have. Like I don't know what matters to me. I keep switching opinions and feelings everyday, like nothing is really the true feeling, and it is making it hard to breathe.
I haven't really talked to anyone about how I honestly feel since you started pushing me away. And I honestly don't care that you're not around anymore. I'm just sad that noone else is there, that I know I won't bother. That I know I won't make upset or is somebody that rather do something else then to be with me.
And I honestly have grown tired of being sad all the time. People complain about the fact that girls get upset over nothing, but you know what? It's not really fun to react about everything either. I wish I could talk on phone, ride buses, talk to people, play games and hang out with friends, without worrying about what others might think. I have grown tired of being sad, because every comments is cutting me like a razorblade. And I really wish I could erease all those thoughts that make me doubt myself and the people around me.
Ah well, I think I got the worst complainments out of me at least! Hope noone read it, haha. Take care anyway. :)
Otherwise I'm really starting to feel like I've hit a brick wall. Since I was ill, I fell behind in school and need to acctually write something down from every missed lesson. So 4 extra texts, which I could probably write down from the books I was suppoused to have read.... But worst is the text I'm suppoused to translate into phonetic signs. I still haven't understood which sign is to which sound, and vs, so it takes really long time to finish even one scentence.. and it requires total focus. I also should start on the essay I never finished last year, since I got a date to turn it in in about 2 weeks, but I really have lost all energy. It fells like nothing acctually make me happy anymore.
I know this isn't suppoused to be written down in a public website, but since I feel that noone really acctually reads it - and because I have noone else to talk too - I don't think it matters anymore.
I feel like I don't know myself, and never have. Like I don't know what matters to me. I keep switching opinions and feelings everyday, like nothing is really the true feeling, and it is making it hard to breathe.
I haven't really talked to anyone about how I honestly feel since you started pushing me away. And I honestly don't care that you're not around anymore. I'm just sad that noone else is there, that I know I won't bother. That I know I won't make upset or is somebody that rather do something else then to be with me.
And I honestly have grown tired of being sad all the time. People complain about the fact that girls get upset over nothing, but you know what? It's not really fun to react about everything either. I wish I could talk on phone, ride buses, talk to people, play games and hang out with friends, without worrying about what others might think. I have grown tired of being sad, because every comments is cutting me like a razorblade. And I really wish I could erease all those thoughts that make me doubt myself and the people around me.
Ah well, I think I got the worst complainments out of me at least! Hope noone read it, haha. Take care anyway. :)
Min sambo spydde inatt,
så därför mår jag illa nu! Självklart så är det talan om en paranoia, och inte någon slags sympati, men irriterande är det i alla fall.
Annars funderar jag på att öva min engelska genom att skriva mina inlägg på engelska (måste prestera en "excellent writing" istället för "good" eller "very good"....) så övning kanske inte skulle vara helt dåligt. Vi får se vad jag kan klämma ut!
I övrigt ska jag till skolan imorgon, så får se om jag får en studiegrupp då, hihi.
Annars funderar jag på att öva min engelska genom att skriva mina inlägg på engelska (måste prestera en "excellent writing" istället för "good" eller "very good"....) så övning kanske inte skulle vara helt dåligt. Vi får se vad jag kan klämma ut!
I övrigt ska jag till skolan imorgon, så får se om jag får en studiegrupp då, hihi.
Hallå.,
nu har jag varit inaktiv för ett bra tag. Har inte haft något vidare sug för att skriva alls. Har kämpat igenom sista uppgifterna i Samhällskunskapen, samt kämpat för att få information om min engelska-kurs jag ska börja nu. De har nämligen inte orkat behaga lägga ut information om kursen, utan jag trodde verkligen att den blivit inställd. Men nu har den börjat! Jag ska läsa barnlitteratur på engelska bland annat, hehe.
Aja, får se om jag lyckas vara lite mer aktiv nu då!
Aja, får se om jag lyckas vara lite mer aktiv nu då!
